Spring 2013 – Early April

Sing along: “It’s beginning to look a lot like April!”

If you don’t know the tune, write me and ask for it.  Just kidding.  Here it is, as written and sung by the great Johnny Mathis (biography):

If your brain is racked anything like mine, that song will be stuck in your head the rest of the day.  So, in a sense, we will be singing along together.  Just remember to use the word April.

Anyone living south of our Clinton County, New York (in the far northeast corner of the state, bordering Vermont and Canada) may enjoy seeing the still somewhat wintry nature of early-to-mid April here.  Folks north of here, go ahead and laugh, especially Alaskans, Siberians, Antarcticans (just north of the south pole), etc.

For reference, in case there is someone reading this not acquainted with Clinton County, NY:

Also in our geography lesson today, that’s “the other Great Lake” on Clinton County’s east coast, Lake Champlain, part of the Adirondack Coast, named for our Adirondack Mountain Region (see also Adirondack Mountain Club).

Moving on from geography to cryptozoology, the 400-foot-deep lake is also home to a 600-year-old sea monster, known to the Abenaki Indians as Tatoskok.  While fighting the Iroquois on the shore of the lake, the great French explorer Samuel de Champlain saw the creature and declared, “Mon Dieu!  Kunta Kinte, I found you!” (A line later used in an unrelated movie scene.)  Today, the giant serpent (actually a plesiosaur), our local version of the Loch Ness Monster, has been co-opted for economic purposes, like almost everything, a sort of mascot of local chambers of commerce, especially in the village of Port Henry.  It’s name is now Champ.  Our local economy does need all the help it can get, even from dinosaurs.

And finally, what you’ve all been biting your nails waiting for: what April looked like at Balsamea Headquarters (it gets better AFTER this slideshow):

April 4, 2013:

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I’m trying to use the camera to keep a chronological record of the things spring brings.  It means carrying the camera with me on our thrice-daily forest saunters (and while doing trail mending, trail tending, and trail bending, one of my bigger hobbies, a critical factor in being The Balsamean).  Sometimes I don’t carry it, especially after dark.  Some forest saunters should be just walks for the sake of walking in the woods.

So … watching for the first thing to come out of spring — or the first one I noticed — as the snow receded, the bright red heads of my favorite lichen showed up.  It’s not that they “bloom” in spring.  They were red all winter.  But they were the first brightly colored thing revealed by the snow’s retreat.  I think that these pictures of our British Soldier Lichens (Cladonia cristatella), from April 15 and 18, are better than my old ones from May 2012, published here in British Soldiers in Balsamea Woods! (go there to learn about these lichens).

These photos are from the same location as the old May 2012 shots: one of our woods openings called Five Stump Skypatch.  There are seven stumps, but only five big, obvious ones, each blanketed with lichen, moss, tiny balsam fir seedlings, and a billion microscopic things I don’t know about.  Skypatch is our name for an opening in the woods, where the sky is a dominant feature of the place, and one may get a sunburn.

(Click a pic to see them bigger.)

It’s like going to another planet, ain’t it?  Why do people want to pay a quarter million dollars for a ride on Virgin Air’s space shuttle, when entire alien worlds are right here for free at Balsamea?  They’ve got to be out of their minds.  Maybe it’s better they want to leave the planet.

All our first three spring show stoppers are deer food: lichen, maple, and pussy willow.  The first “normal” plants to flower, that is, plants with shoots and leaves, were sugar maple and red maple trees, one with a bird’s nest:

Now for the second (and even more fun) plant to “flower” (if these are actually flowers), the mysterious pussy willow.  It took about 200 shots to get this handful of pictures that were not too bad.  So applause WILL be appreciated.  This is a mix of shots from April 14, 18 and May 1.  See if you can guess which ones were from May 1.  In one shot, you can see where a deer (presumably … I suppose it could have been a moose or a turkey or a porcupine) chomped off a bud.

(Click it to dig it.)

No pussies were injured in any manner whatsoever in the making of these pictures.

The miracle of digital photography.  Imagine having to pay for 200 Kodak prints to find a handful of nice ones?  Barbaric!  Kodak went bankrupt, but we got the blogosphere instead.  My sympathies — seriously — to all my former neighbors in Rochester suffering the demise of their iconic employer.  (The company is resurrecting in a much smaller incarnation.)

And, thanks to the magic of mouse-driven zoom and crop, I can see things in these natural wonders that completely escape my naked eye.  I mean, did you ever see a pussy willow bloom a foot wide?  I shrunk these a little to fit in one computer view without scrolling around in it, but you get what I mean.

One of our most numerous wildflower is the tiny violet.  There are hundreds of clusters of these scattered here and there throughout our 19 acres.  This year there are more violets than ever (as with our bursting population of trout lily, but that’s for another post).  These pictures are from May 5, 2012, because I have so many nice violet pictures I didn’t bother taking any this year … except one, just to document when Balsamea first presented them to us, magically on May 5, 2013.

First, a little aside (as are most things I say):  As I work with these pictures, thinking about those times I spent focusing my attention on these wonders of nature, learning about them, sharing them with you, I realize how blessed I am to have such abundance right outside my door.  It’s more than that.  It is medicine to my mind and body.  I am a better person because of the time I spend immersed in the experience of being welcomed as a fellow sylvan among all these others, who tend to my soul as they do, cultivating The Balsamean.

I’ve been personally acquainted with some people of the type, so I guess there may be some reading this, who see this kind of statement and the feelings in it as silliness.  Emotional bubblegum.  Self-serving drama.  They won’t say it, probably not even in their own minds, not per se, but their perception of it leans toward, “Be a real man, would you?”

I’ve never been closer to a truer me.  My immersion in Balsamea has gone a long way toward washing away the paint, putty, pretense and pain of too often suppressing, ignoring, neglecting or abusing this one laying on the ground trying to get a good picture of a violet, and later, in a moment like this, having tears running down his cheeks because of realizing how blessed he is, and not such a bad guy when he is most fully living the life of The Balsamean, which includes making these scribblements, even if nobody reads them.

So, thank you, violets, and all the other Balsameans here before I arrived, before they adopted me as their own.

April is always loaded with surprises.  I recall a mid-April day years ago that came with a foot of snow, and we almost always have some snow in April.  Sometimes we get slammed with a heat wave (to me that means anything over 7o degrees in spring, over 80 in summer, 30 in winter … I get depressed when it’s over 30 in winter … Fahrenheit, that is).

Here’s a pleasant surprise we found on our morning walk this past April 12: iced balsam fir, that boreal tree (Abies balsamea) for which Balsamea is named …

I hope you enjoyed this little virtual visit to April in Balsamea.  If not, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

I invited an overstressed, unemployed, completely broke, downtrodden person to an all-expense-paid trip to Balsamea for as long as he wanted this spring, including room and board, and … would you believe it? … he decided to get a job instead!  People are nuts.

This is the beginning of my Spring 2013 series.  More to come.

I often question why the heck I feel compelled to record these events and processes in nature, then scribble about them to an almost entirely anonymous audience.  I can’t help it.  It’s bred into being The Balsamean.  It’s a great hobby, and I learn a lot, and have fun doing it.  This self-questioning continues, but I’m moving toward not troubling myself with “the why of it,” and just be it.  Thanks for being an audience for my self-entertainment.  It’s just not the same as writing in a journal notebook.  An audience makes it another kind of scribblement, probably a better kind.

Was it good for you?

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes  –Marcel Proust

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Related article:

Colouring the Landscape by Sarah Boon, in her blog, Watershed Moments: Thoughts from the Hydrosphere.  Quote: “I’ve been trying to follow Proust’s advice, renewing my gaze to find out what I’m missing. What I’ve discovered are lichens …” and she made terrific photos.  Ms. Boon is “rediscovering [her] writing and editing roots after 13 years primarily as an environmental scientist,” and she is “a member of the Canadian Science Writers Association and The Explorer’s Club, and [has] been nominated to be a Fellow of the Royal Canadian Geographical Societyand she is an inspiration.

Copyright © 2013 Dennis Koenig
Posted in Adirondacks, All, Ecopsychology, Flowers, Lichens, Naturalism, Nature, Scribblement, Spring, Trees | Tagged , | 4 Comments

A forest runs through me (More from Nature Mom and the National Wildlife Federation)

This post introduces author Sylvan Walker, founder of the NEW Sylvabiota™, and a fun pen-name for your favorite Balsamean, Dennis Koenig.  Months ago I gave up on Sylvabiota, after a year of intense work on it and voluminous results.  But it had become something it was not intended to be.  It still wanted to be that intended thing.  So it came back with a different approach, and the mission, “Leave forests better than we found them.”  The old Sylvabiota had become about fighting against problems, fighting to solve them, fighting for accountability by government environmental agencies, fighting to get the message out, fighting about fighting.  Fighting gets old when you do it every day.  So I became a conscientious objector named Sylvan Walker.  The new Sylvabiota is about taking a stand FOR something rather than AGAINST something.  Temporarily it is sylvabiota.com, not .org as before.    We do have a .org site, but it is in development.  The .com and .org will link to each other.  Sometimes I’ll forget who I am and post here as Sylvan Walker instead of The Balsamean.  (Maybe it’s partly remembering who I am.)  But you should know all three of us anyway.  We’re a good team.  –Dennis Koenig, a sylvan.

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Take a “Signs of Fall” Walk | from the Nature Mom blog.  This applies in any season, of course.

A quote from Nature Mom’s post:

Allow your child to lead the walk.  Give them the space and time to discover Autumn [or any time] on their own.  Explore the season with all senses, not just sight.

This great advice may seem like mere common sense, and it is, but I suspect it is not commonly used.  Go to the post and read Nature Mom’s list of things to encourage a child to observe and experience outdoors.  It’s a list for me and you, too, kids or no kids!

A few more ideas from Nature Mom, with super photos in every post:

Create-With-Nature Pathway

Cycling through the forest … – rediscover bike paths

Nature Fun for Kids: Take a Photo Walk – Nature Mom says, “Provide a child with a camera, and he’ll see the world in a different way.”  A camera is one of the great ways to really observe nature, not just see it as you stroll by … if you really see it at all.  I cannot see small things in their natural state anywhere near as well as I can see them enlarged on my computer display.  It lets me see what we usually don’t.  Of course, it does help to have a little pocket magnifier like mine, but it’s not as powerful.  It’s not just fun for kids and adults.  It’s also a serious (and fun) aid to one’s naturalist hobby, education, help with identifying things in nature and learning about them, and it gives you great stuff for your screensaver, electronic picture frame, custom greeting cards (whether paper or emailed, IM’d, etc.), or tacked on the wall, even framed!  My camera helps the forest run through me, helps me be a sylvan; i.e., OF the forest, not just IN it.

Nature Mom posted this link from Richard Louv: Grand Ideas! 21 great ways grandparents and grandfriends can connect kids to nature.

NOTICE!  The Great American Backyard Campout – Coming June 22, 2013.  And who says it’s just for KIDS?  Nature Mom points:

Why is an event like this important? Did you know that only 25% of kids today play outside daily? When I was a kid, we played outside just about every day, and according to statistics, 75% of other kids did so, too. What does the average kid do today? They spend almost seven hours a day using electronic media (watching TV, sitting at a computer, texting, or playing video games). Think back to your childhood. What are the memories that are still with you today?

The Great American Backyard Campout is a project of the Be Out There program of the National Wildlife Federation.  It provides a fun way for kids to campout and interact online about it, in a pledge-type fundraiser for NWF’s kids-and-nature programs.  The kids can participate in a team or alone.  They get a web page to share stuff, and they can win awards.

I am one to be suspicious and cautious about involvement in any kind of fundraiser.  But this one looks good to me.  I’ve liked NWF for many years, and this looks like a good idea, so don’t be surprised if you see a post here and emails about sponsoring my campout with Buddy, the wonder dog and Prince of Balsamea, a sort of kid.  I even have paw print pictures he can sign with to register.

About the fundraising, NWF says:

The money you raise helps support National Wildlife Federation’s programs to get kids outside and reconnect them with nature. Reach out to your friends, family and co-workers online and in-person. You will be surprised how easy it is and how quickly the money adds up!

Raise $50 and you’ll get the Great American Backyard Campout cap, or raise $100 and you’ll receive the Great American Backyard Campout tee-shirt (we have kids sizes too!). See our list of fundraising rewards >> 

Easy Eight – 8 Easy Ways to Raise $100

  1. Donate $10 to yourself
  2. Ask your significant other for $10
  3. Ask one friend for $20
  4. Ask 2 co-workers for $10 each
  5. Ask 1 neighbor for $10
  6. Ask 1 local merchant for $10
  7. Ask your hairstylist for $10
  8. Ask 1 family member for $10

Total = $100!

Thank you, Nature Mom.

Copyright © 2013 Dennis Koenig
Posted in All, Camping, Children, Family, Health, Nature, Sylvabiota | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Owners must file form or NY gun permit info will be public

Update May 16, 2013, with apologies for the do-over:  If you have read this already, just skip to the end where it goes farther into the bit about the Supreme Court granting gun rights, not necessarily the Constitution itself.  I thought that needed some clarification, since the case law was murky until 1939, then shady until 2008.  You never know.  A gun lover could possibly have read a little of the case law on Wikipedia, and found that the court never said completely clearly what our gun rights really are.  Instead, they came up with a compromise to deal with the troubles in the Constitution.

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Let’s see now … how can We the People spend a few million dollars (in a system that is already teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, but for the right we give it to rob from the middle class and the poor) creating a law and an administrative procedure that will be operative forevermore … at untold cost … to further weaken the new lame gun control law that we just created at massive dollar cost now and in perpetuity (to pay for its administration)?

http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/story/21990/20130515/owners-must-file-form-or-ny-gun-permit-info-will-be-public

Excerpt:

Gun owners in New York who don’t want their registration information available to the public are facing a deadline to file an exemption form with local licensing authorities.

As with all institutions, the primary mission of the NY Legislature is to perpetuate its existence. Otherwise, it would become obsolete, having made itself so. We’d be left with the raw, unadorned fact of currently masked but inescapable reality that they just give ruling power to The Market anyway (per the grand mantra of our National Religion, Hyperglobalcapitalizm, which states, “Market Uber Alles”), and the ones with the guns make the rules.

“Legislation” is a euphemism for “follow the money.” And “corruption asylum” is a nice dysphemism for “legislature.”

My driver’s license information is public, but the fact that I own a so-called assault rifle (are rifles used for anything else? … automatic ones should be called reassault weapons) is a secret if I want it to be secret from public access, except of course from access by the government, the Great Wizard of Secret Making, Keeping, and Controlling (WizCon for short).

I don’t own an assault rifle, but please don’t make me mad. You won’t like me when I’m mad. (Pthuh. As if you like me now.) Just kidding. Sorta.

By the way, to any gun advocates reading this: I realize that your gun opinions are indisputable, because they’re irrational. I’m just rallying the folks on the sane side of the issue, to support their love of life, liberty, and the pursuit of non-violent happiness.

But don’t be afraid to speak up here, because everything the Gun Lobby says just builds the diagnostic evidence of its sicknesses.

Gun possession and usage is a public health issue more than a civil rights issue, because public health and welfare trump the means and extent of the exercise of some rights. It’s because we have an overarching, inalienable right to life and peace and offspring who can survive attendance at grade school and movie theaters.

Public health and safety are the reasons I’m not allowed to drive 125 miles per hour without a license in an unregistered, uninspected car with bald tires and bad brakes. Cars are lethal even when in perfect show-room condition. We regulate their possession and usages for the sake of public health and welfare, the same reason gun ownership and usage should be regulated in at least the same ways, with mandatory education before licensing, annual registration, and annual inspection, with fees high enough to fund enforcement … and the police should have the right to detain any gun owner at any time to inspect their documents and weapons, as with cars and drivers.

Unfortunately, I can’t hide a car under my coat. Gun nuts will always have the power of secrecy on their side. They don’t deserve to keep their guns more secret than their cars, to whatever extent we can level the privacy playing field between those areas of life worthy of government regulation.

A few thoughts for the sane about so-called gun rights:

The U.S. Constitution did not grant the right to the kind of gun ownership and usage that we now have in effect. The Supreme Court did it. They’ve gotten it wrong before, and will again.

The Constitution is not infallible. Neither is our ability to interpret, apply, enforce and modify it.

(If there were a well-regulated militia in my county, I’d volunteer, and my gun would be stored in the militia’s armory, where it belongs, or I’d have a badge authorizing me to keep and carry it. And, being a well-organized militia, I’d be REQUIRED to participate regularly in training, drills, and practice, and I’d be supervised in my use of guns for necessary purposes by a responsible chain of command. I’d be accountable to someone, and to the public. Otherwise, it would not be a regulated, organized militia. Just a mob with guns, as we have now.)

Dred Scott, whose famous case to gain his free...

Dred Scott

Once upon a time in defiance of the inalienable rights of a person named Dred Scott and four million like him, for the sake of The Market, which was the basis of our military strength against Europeans who would have loved to keep what they colonized, the Supreme Court ruled that Blacks are not citizens, but merely property, utterly devoid of any rights not granted by their White owners, not even the right to sue in court, said the court to the suing and the sued.

It boils down to the rule that the ones with the guns make the rules. Africans were capable of war in self-defense when Whites came to enslave them. But they didn’t have muskets and fine steel swords and cannons.

The so-called “supreme” court really gets it badly wrong sometimes, and the costs are inconceivably horrible. We all continue paying the endless costs of racism, something also too easily concealed under our coats, masks, and superiority pretensions.

The simplicity of such a view of governmental and civil reality escapes consciousness diseased with greed, power, hypocrisy, and brainwashed fear-based pseudo-reasoning based on an unrealistic notion of who grants rights and how they do it and why.

Guns are good for the economy (I can explain that, but it would take a separate rant to cover it properly). Our gun rights will endure for as long as Market Uber Alles rules the land. When money is not the primary basis for political power, your so-called gun rights will go the way of slavery. Yeah, I know. Good luck wishing on that ridiculous star. Just saying: know where your rights come from and why, before subscribing to the wacko notion that they are made inalienable by the Supreme Court.

And to those living in fear of the government taking away their guns: with some academic help doing the research, you can find that the best friend of the gun culture, gun industry, and gun owners in this country is the government.  But there is a kind of upside to living in fear: it’s good for the economy and especially for the gun industry.  Sales are through the roof lately, thanks to your purchases made because of unnecessary fear.  The industry-funded NRA and NSSF are loving it.  So your fear is good for your lobbyists.  And a big percentage of your purchases goes to the federal Wildlife Restoration Act, from which they issue grants to improve shooting ranges.  Win-win-win for gun makers, gun lobbyists, gun owners, and the gun culture!  Gotta love it, gunners.  What the heck makes you so afraid with all this going for you?

Brainwashing.  By the gun makers, the gun lobbyists, fear-driven gun owners, and politicians tapped into the brainwashed gun culture.  The only ones in the game not making money on it are the gun owners who don’t sell guns.

So maybe it’s not quite win-win-win.  Maybe win-win-lose.  Two out of three ain’t bad, losers.

You think that my perspective is unfounded to some extent or even entirely? Tell me about it. It could be entertaining. And that’s the purpose of this blog: my entertainment.

I had fun. Was it good for you?

******** Update May 16, 2013: ********

You have to look at these three U.S. Supreme Court cases to see how they managed to fudge it so that you get an individual right to keep and bear arms even if you’re not in a militia, or just want them for self-defense or sport, yet at the same time they allow strict limits on what kinds of firearms you may use in the militia, defend your home, and go plinking and deer hunting.

Robertson v. Baldwin, 165 U.S. 275 (1897)
United States v. Miller, 307 U.S. 174 (1939)
District of Columbia v. Heller, 554 U.S. 570 (1980)

So we have an individual right to keep and bear arms, as potential militia enlistees expected to bring their own weapons to muster on the parade grounds, and for the purpose of personal self-defense (also a legal right, whether by gun or otherwise), and apparently for hunting, yet the States are allowed to regulate the kinds of guns the potential defenders and hunters may keep and bear.

This creates a conundrum in terms of our ability to defend anybody against modern weaponry.  If I’m not allowed to have live explosives and armed missiles and rocket-propelled grenades and tear gas and cannons, I’m really not much use as a person to come to the defense of the country with my AK, AR, pump shotgun, and .45, or even an Uzie.

If the government is allowed (by Supreme Court ruling) to limit what kinds of guns I can own, but wants me to have guns so I can help defend the country, under modern warfare circumstances the court should allow me to have a private fleet of fully armed and loaded stealth bombers, if Bill Gates would loan me the funds.  I’m going to need them to defend against the kind of weaponry we might typically face these days in our … ahem … “militia,” which is also powerless to defend us against a military coup of the U.S. government.

We have a compromise operating here, for convenience, seemingly by fiat, but crafted by court case law over time to do what it can to reconcile shortcomings in the Constitution, or to substitute for needed changes to it, if not shortcomings at the time it was written.

There are within the court strong dissenters to the gun lobby supported decisions.  On the 2008 bench, just one judge could have made it “constitutionally legal” for the States to ban handguns even for self-defense in the home.  (Maybe they would have allowed handguns with some very special license to kill.)

This is why I say that THE COURT has granted the right of individuals to keep and bear, not really the Constitution itself.  Along may yet come a bench that says otherwise, for instance, a more rational future court may say that the late 18th Century notion of a militia is irrelevant to modern reality and muskets are nowhere near as horrible things to have in the hands of just anybody as are AK’s and AR’s.

New York now says we can’t have more than three rounds in a clip.  How about not more than one round ball at a time, and a charge rammed in with a rod, ignited with a cap inserted under a hammer?

The Constitution’s writers did not foresee 30-round clips and armor-piercing bullets, laser sights and infrared scopes.  Their perspective on modern reality was so limited it’s amazing that we still obey them at all.

They did not foresee the possibility of an African-Hawaiian-Kenyan-American president and a female Secretary of State and half a nation full of women voters.  They didn’t realize it would some day be necessary to write into law the right to vote.  The Constitution is weak in a lot of ways (including its language that is fuzzy to speakers and readers of modern English), and golly gee the powers that be have made it really hard for We the People to do anything about it.  Instead they just keep competing to stack the Supreme Court, the top governmental arbiter of right and wrong interpretation of a weak, ancient document sometimes simply irrelevant to current realities.

It does not take much reading to understand clearly why the Founders wanted us to have individually owned guns.  Those days and those reasons are gone.  We are utterly unable to defend ourselves against a military force with the Supreme Court’s idea of PERMISSIBLE gun ownership.  And I sure the hell do not want you allowed to own shoulder-fired anti-aircraft missiles and practice shooting them in the woods, just because it is the modern equivalent of a musket, when faced with an attack helicopter.

Heh-heh.  SAMs!  Now THERE’S an “assault” weapon.  AKs and ARs are toys these days when it comes to defense.  They’re great for murder and other crime, though.  Beats the hell out of a musket.

We the People, at least theoretically, if the Constitution has anything to say about it, could change the Constitution to erase the notion of individual rights to guns.  The point here is that the right to keep and bear arms is not inalienable.  Being deemed by a transitory court a “Constitutional right”  does not make it infallibly, absolutely RIGHT, as in perfectly just, or indisputably reasonable.  Ask four million slaves about Constitutional rights, about whom Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation … well, at least for some of the states he did (how many people know it did not apply to all the states?).  We got around to the rest later, IN A CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT.

The fact that a majority of legislators and the Supreme Court agree on something does not make it absolutely right.  Often it’s just a compromise because they can’t come up with a politically do-able better solution at the time, often because money controls them.  Again and again this has been proved throughout history.  Those in charge have been proved wrong so many times, we truly owe it to ourselves and the nation to be skeptical about their dealings and decisions.

For example, how is it they left the individual rights of citizens out of the Constitution?  Y’know, that thing they added later called the Bill of Rights?  How come the Constitution does not guarantee the right to vote?

The Constitution is fallible, and flawed, as with any human enterprise.  Neither it nor the Supreme Court are the final arbiters of rights, justice, or truth.

We can add more amendments.  We can take some away.  The fact that opponents of the gun culture do not yet have the power to do that does not mean they are wrong, just more sane than the majority, like that minority of abolitionists and woman suffrage activists and civil rights people being killed for their opinions of the way to run a country.

I’m allowed to use this kind of reasoning if the gun lobby is allowed to stand so firmly behind ridiculous notions like, “Guns don’t kill people, people do.”  Improvised explosive devices don’t kill people, either.  Right?  Their users do.  But we have a cell for you at Gitmo if you make them and pass them around among your buddies.  We should have one in the county jail until the fine is paid by anyone found in possession of any kind of firearm or ammo without a license and a permit and so forth.  For selling guns, we could have a special seat in the emergency room of a big city hospital for community service convicts to watch gunshot victims come and go.

Just for the record, I think our gun control laws have some really ridiculous stuff in them, too.  New York now says you can have a big clip but only put three rounds in it.  I laugh every time it occurs to me.  And it just drives me nuts that none of the talking heads, none of the super-pundits even on our Leftist NPR and PBS, are saying about the 3-round limit, “What the fuck?  Are you shittin’ me?”

Just HOW do the legislators and the governor of NY manage to dupe us all into silence about such an absurd law?  On the other hand, I’m sure there will be plenty of nitwits out there rapidly popping off ten or twenty semi-auto rounds non-stop within hearing of a cop or forest ranger, making it clear the shooter is not changing clips every three rounds, when they could have instead just stopped for two breaths every three shots.

“Officer, I was just training for militia duty in taking out helicopters and tanks and armored trucks filled with soldiers and I was gearing up for pushing back the US Army, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard and the State Police, ATF and FBI when martial law is declared against our freedom and they try to take away our guns.  I’m just getting ready for defending myself against the tree-huggers who want to strip me of my phallic power toys.  You never know.  They could have guns, too, couldn’t they?  Even though they are pussies?  I mean, I know it sounds silly, but they might, right?  At least theoretically?  Officer, I’m just so afraid.  I’m so afraid of the tree-huggers and the commie pinko fag abortionist NPR lovers and the ranting Leftist bloggers.  I’m afraid they are going to change the gun culture of America into something like some outrageous place like Europe, where the rates of violence and gun-related violence and gun-related death are so much lower than here, where by God we have THE RIGHT to be insane.”

Copyright © 2013 Dennis Koenig
Posted in All, Firearms, Politics, Society | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment